Lindsay Kate showed me and a bunch of the girls this on VF:

FaCe ThE StRaNgE
By Dally Rotl

Chapter 1
Dally was riding the Hogwarts Express to Hogwarts with her best friend Edwart Cullen. She had just found out she was a witch and a vampire with Edward and now they were going to school to train to be better.

“Edward do you miss Bella?” I asked

“Grr I don’t want to talk about Bella” Edward said

“Oh are you guys fighting?” I asked.

“She is just being a cunt!!” he yelled “She thinks I like you… um I mean…”

“Why would she say that?” Dally asked.

“Um well uh”

KNOCK KNOCK!!! Suddenly there was a sound at the door of the trolly

“I am going around with candy would you like to buy someone?” came the voice from the door.

“YES COME IN” yelled Edward, he wanted a distraction.

The door slid open and in came a boy with big spiky black hair and black clothes and he had his arm wrapped up.

“My name is Hiei” he said, “I am selling these candies to pay for my trip to Hogwarts…” he showed them the tray and there were Burties Botts and Candy Frogs with cards on them.

Edward noticed that Dally was staring at Hiei and growled “We aren’t interested go away.”

“Oh okay” Hiei said “WAIT”

“I am would like to buy some Buties Botts!” said Dally enthusiastically and smiling. She reached for some and touched hands with Hiei… Edwad grred.

“Oh um well… that will be… okay well it is free for you!” Hiei said he was flustered because he touched hands with Dally. He thought she was very cute.

“THANK YOU!” said Dally.

Hiei left and Dally began to ate the beans.

“So do you like that guy?” Edward asked.

“Of course, he gave me free food! He is very nice” Dally said happy.

Suddenly they arrived at Hogwarts and uncame from the train.

They were greeted by a big wizard with a long white bear and a pointy hat and he said, “Come students, follow me to the great hall and we will eat and get you sorted!”

Dally and Edward got into a boat and went into the Great Hall with Dumbeldore. They sat down at a table coincidentally right next to there friend from the ship Hiei! Dally was also sitting next to a black and red hedgehog.

“My name is Shadow” said the hedgehog.

Edward began to grr again. “Why are you all talking to Dally he said?

“Calm down…” said Dally “He is my best friend, he gets a little territorial sometimes.”

“Oh okay” said Shadow.

“Aight!” said Dumbledore “I will now sort you into the hat”

One by on each of the students (and hedgemice because there are some sonic characters) came up to the sorting hat. It told poems for the houses: there is Gryffindor, Huffelpuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin.

“Edward Cullen…..” said the hat, “SLYTHERING!”

Edward put on a silver and green scarf and sat down a table at the end. He winked at Delly as if to say “Come to my house”

“Shadow…. SLYTHERIN!”

Shadow put on a silver and green scarf and sat down next to Edward. “Gee I hope she gets Slytherin” thought Shadow.

“Hiei….. SLYTHERIN!”

Hiei put on a silver and green scarf and sat down next to Shadow and Edward. He could not stop grazing at Dally…

Now it was Dally’s turn. “DALLY” called the hat. She was beckoned and so went up. The boys did a drumroll with their feet.

“RAVENCLAW!”

Dally’s face fell off.. she could not believe it! The boys looked so disappointed. She sadly put on he black and blue scarf and sat at a table with a group of strangers…

Lucky she found her friends Charla, Annie and Meagan at her table! “Hey guys I didn’t know you were witches!”

“Yes we are we just found out this summer” said Meagan. “I cant believe we are in the same house!”

So there was good news after all. They began to head back to there home rooms when Hiei stopped Dally in the hall.

“Listen Dally I want to tell you something” said Hiei “I like you.”

“I like you too Hieie” she said softly.

Then he kissed her and their lips met, like fire.

“Ok ok that’s enough” said a voice. It was Proffessor Umbrudge the defense against dark arts teacher, “Go to your rooms”

“I’ll see you tomorrow” said Hiei and kissed her again

“I SAID ENOUGH GOD DAMMIT” shouted the Proffessor

“Bye!” said Dally
They left and from the darkness two eyes watched. IT was Edward he was mad….

Chapter 2
Dally sat in the common room or Ravenpaw sketching a picture of Hiei and thinking of his kiss. Suddenly se looks up at the fire in front of her and a face appeared!! The fire turned blue like water but it was fire and the eyes wee yellow.

“hello” said the fire

“Mom?” asked Dally

Jut then Mystique came out of the fire she was naked but she didn’t have nipples.

“now that you are a wizad I can give you my powers” said mystique. She handed me an orb and suddenly the room turned colors

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH” screamed Della. She was in a lot of pain and sufferage.

Then mystique disappeared leaving dally with a belt with an X on it. She was now a mutant.

Dally could feel a new rush hour of power in her organs. She tried it out and turned into a bat! “Well I could already do that cuz I’m a vampire lol” she thought to herself, so ten she tried it out again and turned into a a demon chaos chao! A little spiky ball was above her head.

“oh my fucking christ” she said, “I can turn into whatever I want with mustiques powers!”

She pulled out her blackberry and txted hiei, “HIEI I AM A CHAO” he came right over.

She turned back tho because it would be creepy if they kissed and he said it was really cool!! He wanted the powers too so he asked the fire “can you give me those powers too?”

“NO!!!” mystique showered, “You are not my dauter and therefor I cannot pass the powers onto you however if you get married you will be my sun so we can do it then”

“You know what this means?” Hiei said, “If we get married I can have the powers”

But suddenly Dally began to think of the other guys in her life. There was Edward… he had Bella but he said something aout liking her on the trolly, and there was shadow, who looked at her like “I like you”. She loved Hiai but she liked the others…

“I don’t think so I have cold toes” said Dally and she ran away crying

“NO YOU CANT LEAVE ME HERE AT THE ALTAR” shouted Hiei in upset.

“HAHAHA” laughed mystique “YOU WILL NEVER FUCKIN GET TE POWEERS”

And then she disappeared and so did Hiei cuz hes not supposed to be in Ravencalws dorm room lol wtf was he thinking. Dalli wept quietly to herself when all of the sudden a blonde walked out of his class and aprochjed her.

“What’s wrong Dally?” he asked.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Oh my name is Draco Malfoy...” he said “Arf you ok?”

Dally looked into Drake’s eyes and saw that he cared, he was ful of compassion like a snake. The boy held out a hand and pulled up dally up. “Do you want me to walk you to your class?” he asked

“I would love that” Dally said battering her ashes. They began to walk down the hallway together when a blast came out before htem. It was Edwart!

“DALLY!” he shouted “What are you doing with all these bois?”

“um edward its relly none of your business now let us go to the great hall” she snipped.

“IT IS DANGEROSU” he begun to raise his voice

Just then draco pulled out his wand and him and the vampie got into a big fight. But DUmbledumdore came and broke it up

“THAT’S IT” he shouted “You boys will cum have a talk with me in my office” and they left.

So Dally had to go to the great hall by herself but then shadow came and joined her. “What is a pretty girl like you doing all b yourself in the great depression all alone?” he asked her

“well hiei is being an asshole!!” she said and cryed again. Shadow put his paw on her leg and massajed her caressing “Its okay” he said “Its okay”

Meanwhile hiei was updates punishing walls angerly! “WHY DID I HURT HER???” he aksed himself and then he thaught of a soluble. “I will win her back” he said.

Meanwhile Edward and Draco were upstairs in Dumbeldores house. They were sitting on his bed cuz he said they were out of cars.

“What do you think u punishment should be?” Dubledore asked paseing around he was wearing a black t-shirt and ripped Hollister jeans that showed off his mussles. Edward grred, his sences were tingling… that something was not wrong.

Suddenly dumbeldore put his hands on bot of their legs and said “I can think of something..”
“OMG you faggot!” draco screamed. He tried to run but he couldnot…..

Chapter 3
Shadow and Dally were talking in the Great Hall when all of the sudden a cheetah ran in at warped speed, barreling through chairs and people in a frantic rush of hurry.

“SHADOW! DALLY!!” shouted the cheetah, suddenly it turned back into Charla (she is a anemograph and can turn into a cheetah) “SOMETHING IS GOING UPSTAIRES”

Shadow put them all on his back because he is fastest even faster than the lepoard and they ran upstairs and busted down Dumble’s door just in time to see him unzipping his genes.

“NOOO! EDWARD!” Dally shouted… she loved Edward and would never see him get hurt. She ran at Dumbledore and headbutted him. He flew back into the wall and fell into his phenix, and they both exploded into thin air.

“FUCK WE LOST THEM” exclaimed Draco, “We have to get that basterd fired from Hogywarts”

The three of them mated downstairs to Professors Macnoggle’s orifice and demanded an interview. She opened the dory to her chamber and said “Come in dearest stunts! What can I ass you in?”

“We need to get a certain pedofile fired from this plays,” said Harry, “He tried to rape some students including me”

“Oh no don’t worry thought I will have it all took care of,” she said and bamfed them out.

A week later a blog was posted aboot it in the bathrooms that said “A teacher has ben fired to improper actinic against a students, this teacher is Professes Umbrige”

“WAT” they all mounted in unicorns, “THEY FIRED THE WRONG TEACHER”

“Wait keep reading” said Shadow, “It said more”

“There is a new teacher to be hired in place of this one and his name is Jack Skeleton”.

“Yay!” I said, “rofessor Skeleton will know what to do! Let’s go to his class and tell him about that faggot Dumbledore.”

They whaled over and came into his office. He was very skinny and had a skull for a head and no eyes but teeth on them.

“Hello students, what can I halp you with?” he asserted.

“Dumbledore Is gay!” blarted Edword.

“Well students there is nothing wrong with bean gay,” he said, “I am bisexual myself.”

“No but he tried to FINGER US” said Draco, he turned blue a little because he was embarrassed. Draco is straight and it’s Adam and Steve not Adam and Steve.

“OH FUCK” said Jack. They exclaimed to his the whole story and he said, “Don’t worry I will take acres of this. Just go to your rooms and sleep for tonight. Until then incest Dumbledore is not here there are no rules…”

So they left and went to their rooms, except for Dally And Hiei who hung out outside where the dorm rooms started.

“Did you hear what Proffessor Skeleton said?” Hiei asked, “I know that you are mad at me but there are no rules and maybe I can make it up to you.”

“How would you do that?” asked Dally.

Just then he pushed her against the Ravenclaw satellite and because to kiss her gastricly. She put her tongue in his mouth and felt his teeth. He cut his tongue on her fangs and the blood tripped down his chin… he was turned on by it and suddenly Dally felt something against her.

“Hiei is that your wand?” she asked.

“No… that is my penis, Dally…” he said.

“OMG you’re so huge! You’re like 6 inches!!” she shouted, gasping for breath.

“No I am 6 inches flassid, right now I have a bonner so I am 10 inches,” he said.

Della was at a lost for words. She was a virgin and did not know about dicks and it was her first time having a penis.

“Let’s go to your room,” said Hiei, “I want to have sex with you.”

So he said the password and they went into Ravenclaw, and went to Dally’s bedroom. A couple Ravenclawers were like, “Dally what he is doing here??” but she turned Hiei into a broom with her powers as a mutant so they didn’t notice anymore. Then she unturned him back into a Hiei when they got onto her bed. They started kissing and taking their clothes of.

“Do you have a birth control?” asked Dally as he started to put it in.

“No… I didn’t think to bring somes.” He said frowning but he kept doing it.

“Hiei please I don’t want to have a baby… you can get pregnant even from your first time,” she said kissing him and moaning as he went faster and faster.

“It will be okay… you can just use your power to turn my cum into water and then it wont be babies,” he said as he started to tittyfuck her. Her boobs were huge so they could wrap them around his weiner like bumblebees.

“That sounds like a good idea,” she said as he splurted on her neck, then flipped her over and started rubbing himself on her back, “I can also use my powers to turn stuff into kinky sex toys!!!”

So they continued… but just from the first chreptar 1, Edward was watching from the darkness… he had used his vampire powers to turn into a bat and they didn’t notice him fly in.

HE was angry… he was tumors… he was so mad at both of them that he used his wizard powers to turn the water back into cum. He would have his revenge!!!

Chapter 4
Hiei and Delly woke up to the shutter of Hogwarts students cheering and lollygagging. They jumped out of bed and ran into the Great Hall where cowards of people were crowding around a girl.

“What is going on here?” Hiei dementored to know.

“Wait… that’s Bella!” said Delly as she peered through the congregation.

Just as Delly said, Bella (Edward’s girlfriend) was there and ironaldly she was giving a speech about why teen parentcy is illegal. “Well it’s a good think we turned that water into wine!” said Hiei winking at her, and then they took seats in the front.

Edward was sitting nearby and so was Shadow. All the students had to go to this meeting because it was majority for there classes.

In the back of the rom, Proffessor Snaps was watching Bella carefully… he did not get the memo about her coming to give a pubic speech and so from afar he thought that it was Harry Potter’s mom! When Bella’s speech was over, she walked to the backyard to board her 2003 Chevy Pullover when a bag flew over her head.”

“I have you now, Lilly Anne Potter!” he says and soufflés her into the trunk of his jeep. He sped off into the night. Edward grred… again his sences were tingling in the moment’s heat.

“Listen everyone” he said, “We need to save Bella. Something horny has happened to her and it is up to us to save him!” Everyoned knotted. “But we need someone who is good with a sword…”

Hiei was good with a combat but he was feeling fangled from the sex he had with Dally (since there were no rules they had sex over one thousand times), so he did not raise is hands. In stead he deciphered to make a suggestion box.

“I think that Link should do it,” asked Hiei.

Just then a blonde boy with a green hand and leggings came upon a gryphon. He was wearing a sword and he had pointy ears. He swirled his weeping and slammed it into the ground with his foot. “LETS KICK SOME ASS HE SAID!”

And then they wee on the way. Snape was fucking the shit out of Bella, but since she was blinde (the bag had punctured her eyes) she thought it was Edward and moaned punctually.

Edward bust into the room and saw them making woopie and had a look of sheer whore on his face. He balls dropped, he could not believe what he was saving. In his head he saw that his doorest Bella was in danger.. but in his yes he was seeing that it was not the chaste at all. Bella was indeed riding Snape’s cock with her pussy, and she happy.

He ran away as fast as his feet could carry him.

“EDWARD WAIT!” Dally shouted. She wanted him to come back and see treason, because she saw from the way Bella’s eyes were gourged out that she did not know, but then she remembered Bella was a cunt and told Edward, “I think we should kill them both…”

SO Edward came back to the room while the both of them was still humping and attacked Bella first. He sunk his teeth into her neck like the titanic and all at once she turned to stone. Dally grabbed Snape’s dick and threw it out the window, and then Link stabbed him through his heart and lungs.

The scene it was messy… blood and guts was everywhere… and Bella and Proffessor Snape were dead. It was in this step that they knew they could depheat Dubledore.

When Proffessor Skellington heard the ipod, he rushed to the show right away. “Fucking god damnit,” he swore, “Now we will need a new teacher again.”

He thought to himself for a few seconds and then said, “Edwart! You can be our new tether!” He smeared warmly.

Edward was shocked and aroused. “I can not believe this… it is such a hammer!” He accepted the medal and went to clash to teach. Since he was a vampire he knew the most about potions.

“This is good news for Ed!” said Dally. “Aright gangbang lets go over whose in our gang: We have Edward, Me, Hiei, Link,Shadow the Hedgemouse, Jack Sellingtons, Me, and who else??”

“I think that we should get Sasuke,” said Link, “He is is in Griffindoos, but if we tell him Dumbledore is a pedofile he will probably want to kill him two.”

“That’s an extortionist idea!” said Bella, “I think we should do it.”

They all ran to the Gryffindoor commonplace and barged in on Saspluke, he was changing and half naked (FANGASM). Everyone ran out a once cuz it was embearassing except Hiei who came out a few minutes later.

“WHAT THE HELL HIEI” shouted Dally, “Do you like him??”

“I don’t think so,” said Hiei, “It was kinda hott though…”

“THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING POINT” barged Edward, “We need his help and so it doesn’t matter what clothes he’s wearing”

They uncame back in and he was closed. “What did you want gays?” said Sasuke, “Sorry I was studying.”

“We need your help to kill a certain pedofile” said Shadow in a low but gruggly voice, “You are a ninjask and therefore good with killing. You also have powers. And a wizard.”

“I will join your team!” said Sasuke he was tying his shoes. “When will we go on the missionary?”

“RIGHT FUCKIN NOW” said Bella.

And so they all ran off into the night to defeating the faggot Dumbledore with the powers!

Chapter 5
Dally, Hiei, Shadow, Edward, Jack, and Sasuke left off trying to find Dumbledore. They were gunna get him frisked from the school because he tried to warp some boys. They looked in Hoodmeade, the chamber of secretes. And even used the map that Harry’s dad left him of Hogwerts but could not see him for shite.

“Wait” said Draco “I know where the fuck we will find that bastert.”

They got in the car and drove to the mall by the school. First they checked American Engle, then they checked Wet Seal, then they checked Tifanny and Co-op, but they finally found him in the queerest of all stores… Holster.

They all pulp out their wands and did cruses on him. He flew in the air and wobbled like a booby, and hit a lot of slaves on the way down. The employee working was getting liberated. “YOU WILL NEED TO LEAVE IF YOU SIMPLE PLAN ON KEEPING THIS UP” he roared, yeling.

But no one heard him over the sound of acne going on. Dumbledore knew how to excape however because he was a master of the escapes, and he clicked is heels together and said danished.

“WE WILL NEVER CATCH HIM” cryed Draco, just then Dallystarted getting morning sickness all over the store. “Oh my god…” Draco said, looking at the puke. “Are you…. ….?”

“This can’t be…” Daldo said, “Hiei… I thought…!”

“THIS IS NOT MY FAULT,” said Hiei. Just then he started to show his true colors… “it wasn’t me… I swear to god it wasn’t me…”

“It WAS you,” Dally insisted. She could not believe he was denying it.. they had sex a hundred times and she never had sex with any of the ones. “YOU CAME IN ME. I TOLD YOU YOU CAN GET PREGNANT EVEN FROM ANAL.”

Hiei got bat… the others just stared down ventmently. “Hiei is this true?” said Edward coyly as if to pretend nothing happened, “Did you impignate her?”

“WELL YOU WOULD KNOW,” said Hiei, “YOU FUCKED BELLA… AND HTEN YOU KILLED HER.”

Edward was baken aback. “Is that true?” asked Dally, “Edward… I can’t believe you…” she started crying.

“Why are you crying?” asked Hiei. “I.. I wanted to be Edwerds first time..” she admits.

Everyone was in raw. “Dally… I … I need to text you something” he looked at Hiei then pulled out his motorolla. “WHAT ARE YOU SYAING?” hiei demanded. He did not like that their was a private convo happenin. A text popped up on Dally’s screen.

“I did not have sex with Bally,” Edward said, “You can still be my fart”

Draco put Dally in a wheelchair, “Listen everyone I think we should put KTFD (Killing The Faggot Dumbledore) on hold because Dally’s water could beak any time and its important we send her to the hospital wins.”

They returned back to the school and Dally sat in the hospital bed. All kinds of tubes were attracted to her arms and legs to keep her populated. ..it reminded Edward of when Bellala was in the hospital. But he didn’t want to think about her… she was dead now. Now it was al about Bella.

“I’m going to go get you some medicine,” said Hiei, and kissed her on the forehead, leaving.

IT left her all alone with Edward. He sat next to her on the bed. “You’re going to be oakaki, Dally,” he said, his voice sultry and soothing, and he put is hand on her leg under the cover. She was only waring a hospital gowns so it was her bear white leg.

“Edward…. Is that your wand?” she asked, feeling to weak to check.

“No… it is my hand… how are you feeling?” he asked her. His eyes were shinning gold… “Are you feeling… like being my first?”

He learned in to kiss her… but she turned, so he only got the cheek. “You’re 16… are you sure you’re a virgin?” she asked him doubtedly.

“I am sure,” he said, “I haven’t even used tongue with Bella.”

“Well… I am with Hiei. He won’t like it if we do that,” she said, shriving a little. “I thought you said you wanted to… you can’t blue balls me,” he said flatly, “Seriously if you don’t put out youre a bitch just like Bella.”

Dally started to cry… why was he being so mean to her? She thought. Hiei came back in though and Edwart porned off. “What is he so mad about?” Hiei asked. “I don’t know,” Bella lied.

“Listen… Dally… I need to talk to you about something,” Hiei said, sitting on the bed where Edward shat. “Do you remember when I stayed in Sasuke’s room with him?”

Dally’s stomach fell off… she got nervous, “Uh… y-y-yeah…”

“Well… the truth… is that… we…… Sasuke and me…. We….”

“OUT WITH IT” she said. “We… we… we had sex!” Hiei was so embarrassed.

“WHAT?!”

The hole school could hear the scream…